Not That Sweet: A Memoir
“To know and be yourself is the greatest power. To be seen and celebrated is the greatest love.” – Stephanie Thoma, CHt
Dedication
For every underdog, tall poppy, scapegoat, black sheep, or outlier, who dares to live a life true to themselves.
Book Soundtrack
Book Praise
"Stephanie Thoma's voice is soulful and vulnerable, sharing an honest glimpse into a youth of wanting and striving that so many of us can relate to. Her evolution in her attachment to herself is raw and resonant. These pages remind us all that we are always enough and never too much."
- Dr. Han Ren
Licensed Psychologist, Author of The Hyphenated Life (in press)
“Not That Sweet is a powerful, honest account of the complicated family dynamics that can encourage us to look deep within, muster courage, and seek out our own mirrors in the world. Stephanie Thoma’s first-hand account portrays how hard we can try to find belonging, love and acceptance within our families, and still come up short. Filled with personal, ambiguous losses, and disenfranchised grief, striving to navigate the world, find the right support, and see ourselves as we truly are: worthy of love and belonging. This book serves as a catalyst for opening the conversation on self-compassion, determination, and the painful, but necessary choices we make - this is so deeply needed.
- Gina Moffa, LCSW
Trauma and Grief Therapist and Author of Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go
“Not That Sweet is a fierce and empowering narrative that dives headfirst into the complexities of family relationships and the journey to reclaiming our identities after surviving abuse. With her unapologetic honesty, Stephanie Thoma challenges us to confront the lies we've been told and step into our personal power. This book is a bold call to embrace our authentic selves, serving as a compassionate guide for anyone navigating their own journey. If you’re ready for a profound exploration of truth and healing, this is an absolute must-read!”
- Vasavi Kumar
Author of Say It Out Loud
“Not That Sweet is a profound exploration of family estrangement and forging your own identity through rejection, acceptance, holding on, letting go, and moving on. Each story Stephanie Thoma shares is moving—you’ll find yourself catching your breath, laughing, exclaiming, and crying. This poignant and powerful narrative is not just a riveting book; it’s like the perfect confidante for anyone working to reclaim themselves from complicated shadows of the past. A must-read for those ready, or working to embrace their authentic selves!”
- Gabrielle Stanley Blair
Author of Ejaculate Responsibly
“An intimate look into the complex, and often confusing, world of family estrangement and surviving abuse. With attentive honesty, Stephanie Thoma invites the reader to see the one we lost first was ourselves, and by untangling our history’s threads we can release the lies we were told about who we are and reclaim our identity from the impossible demand of being good. Not That Sweet is a journal entry witness to every scapegoat’s experience and welcome home to their tender, wild, and authentic self.”
- Katherine Sleadd
Author of How to Be a Bad Friend
Confident Introvert: A Practical Guide to Connecting with Others at Networking Events and Beyond
“True confidence is when your sense of self-worth comes from within.” – Stephanie Thoma
Table of Contents
Introduction: Why Your Network Matters
1. Identify: Understand Your Personality before Meeting Others
2. Recharge: Manage Your Energy to Avoid Networking Burnout
3. Reframe: Shift Your Mindset for an Empowering Experience
4. Relate Part I: Meet New People IRL
5. Relate Part II: Strike Up Conversations Online
6. Re-engage: Nurture Your Relationships for Lasting Connection
Conclusion: It’s a Process and a Practice
Get the first chapter of Confident Introvert for free, instantly!
Book Praise
"Every introvert should read this book! Actually anyone who needs a little more confidence should read this book. Stephanie Thoma does a wonderful job bringing practical strategies to introverts who need them."
- Vanessa Van Edwards
Author of Captivate Founder of Science of People
"Stephanie Thoma offers a practical framework, backed by sociological research, to make your introversion work for you. A short, engaging read!"
- Dorie Clark
Author of Reinventing You
Executive education faculty, Duke University Fuqua School of Business
"Confident Introvert is an enormously practical book. Thoma draws on the brilliant research that's been done on introversion to demonstrate very clearly how introverts can make their disposition an advantage and build a strong web of authentic and resilient relationships. I recommend it to ambitious introverts and extroverts alike."
- Sally Helgesen
Author of How Women Rise
Confident Introvert is a wonderful resource for leaders to create professional connections and grow their networks -- without the anxiety and discomfort. Stephanie shares inspiring stories, compelling studies, and asks just the right questions to ensure you step into your best self. Confident Introvert is a must read!"
- Marshall Goldsmith
Author of What Got You Here Won't Get You There
"As an introvert, Stephanie's approach to becoming a more confident and connected leader in Confident Introvert really resonated with me. If you want to reframe what it means to connect with people, love and accept yourself, and grow professionally, this book is for you!"
- Ashley Sumner
Co-Founder at Quilt
"Stephanie Thoma decouples introversion from authentic relationship-building and career advancement, while providing practical tools along the way. Stephanie gives us permission to be even more of who we are by embracing our introvert superpowers and quiet strengths."
- Jenny Blake
Author of Pivot
